Mini-on #04

I eavesdrop for a living, apparently. Every theme answer in this puzzle is something I actually heard a stranger say on public transit over the past year, out of context and slightly unhinged. My favorite is 61-Across, which I heard on a delayed train platform and have not stopped thinking about since. If you're the guy who said it: thank you for the content, sorry for putting you in a crossword. Test solved by my mom, who did not believe any of these were real.